In Last weeks interview I had the pleasure of Meeting Mistress Rose (She Controls) to talk about Findom. I know almost nothing about Findom fetishes although there’s quite a bit of interest in terms of searches on my web site. Mistress Rose was kind enough to give me an interview to educate me as well as the masses on the fundamentals of Findom and to share some of her extensive expertise with me.
Mistress Rose began her career just over a decade ago as an Online Domme which obviously includes findom before branching out in to real time sessions as well. Whether on or off line her sessions can include some aspects of Findom; of course this is entirely dependent upon the submissive wishes as its a consensual activity like with all things with BDSM.
Findom hasn’t always got a fair hearing since its quite misunderstood as there’s a lot of inaccurate information out there and of course we form a judgement based on what we’ve heard or read. I do think to do Findom takes skill and patience but by no means should it be regarded as an alternative to dungeon based session. The pain felt by Fin subs is something more psychological as opposed to the physical and as such care needs to be taken in selecting a Mistress when exploring Financial Domination.
Mistress Rose in a way becomes a like an accountant or finance manager for a sub as well providing some life coaching and motivation for her ‘boys’ to do well. What surprised me was that Findom seems to involve a lot more ongoing long term communications which is something you tend not to get between real time dungeon based sessions. I can understand why some guys may prefer that style of play as it seems more gentle, sensual and nurturing in a way (For those that seek that sort of thing!)
Mistress Rose, began with the usual almost compulsory introduction and biography:
Mistress Rose: Hello everybody my name is Mistress Rose but I’m also commonly known by the brand name; “She Controls”. My journey into Femdom goes back to when I was in my early twenties and I was on crowdfunding website for cosmetic surgery. That’s when I started to socialise with people online and start to get to know people in a bit more of an intimate sense, it was from there I started to meet submissive men. Then I realised there was certainly a place for me to carry on enjoying myself in such realms with submissive men.
Sin: Did you start online?
Mistress Rose: Predominantly I started online. I would say at least four years online and then branched from there into
real time sessions with the boys who I really built up quite a strong connection with online. From there I started to
transition over into a mixture of online to real time.Sin: Did you find a bit difficult to make that transition?
Mistress Rose: It was an itch I finally got to scratch. Online play was good but it was a thrill to be able to do it in person; there’s just something far more visceral and intense about the whole play of it. With online you don’t get to see the reactions and the feelings that but merely words on the screen that are open to all sorts of interpretations, so getting that sort of solid reaction and interaction with the submissive in a real sense is something I love and feed off.
When I met my first submissive men I didn’t really understand at the time and when I finally made the money I wanted and didn’t
need the website anymore I actually researched into another Mistress who was using the same site but she had raised three times more.
I wanted to know how she did it. After some deeper research I came across a Lady called “Toxic Goddess” in America, who is still going today. So yes I just decided I want to be like her. I rebranded and user my username with “English Rose” and stuck ‘Mistress’ in front of it, I was in the very early stages and had a very steep learning curve. The thing back then was that the online scene was a lot smaller so the men I had approaching me were less time wasters.The psychology is quite interesting and dynamics behind it. Now I’ve got the knowledge I put that into real time practice. I’m grateful for my online journey but it wasn’t plain sailing.
Sin: Can you define ‘Findom’ is?
Mistress Rose: Findom is apart of BDSM of the scene and it is psychological kink based on the handing over power through financial assets, through restricting their own expenditure. The taking away of money at the end of the day, we are in the 21st century so money is power. Its a choice, freedom that you can take away from a man. For a man to submit and hand it over to you its a very powerful dynamic.
Sin: Would you say its more powerful dynamic than giving or receiving pain?
Mistress Rose: I would say yes yeah because from my personal experience I have dabbled a bit in impact play but I think money makes it very real. When you come away from a session being struck and you have your scars, you bask in that and enjoy the feeling afterwards but with findom it could be two weeks later where you want to treat yourself then release you can’t as you have given your mistress that money.
Mistress Rose is listed in the UK Mistress Directory and can also be found on shecontrols.co.uk